Never News: MEMBER DRIVE STREAM WEEK COMETH
Hello angels! Today in the newsletter, I'm going to break down everything you need to know about our MEMBER DRIVE STREAM WEEK EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!
[DEAFENING AIRHORN SOUND]
As you already know, we're in the middle of a member drive. Did YOU know that you can become a member for our show for as little as $4 a month?! There are also other tiers and other ways to support us (such as sending us tips!) — you can find that info by going to neverpo.st and clicking "Become A Member."
BUT ANYWAY — on to the exciting news. Starting on Monday, August 18th, we have a FULL WEEK of content for you. You will be able to watch all of it at twitch.tv/theneverpost. If you follow us there, you'll get notified whenever we go live! I'll also be sending you little baby newsletters every morning that week, telling you what's up on the docket that day, and what you might have missed.
What, pray tell, is in this incredible week's worth of back-to-back thrills, chills, and if you're lucky, spills? Your answer lies below...
(this schedule is in Eastern Standard Time)
MONDAY
10:00 AM: Kick Off Hang Out with Special Announcement
We're starting things off with a chit chat with the whole NevPo team, PLUS a very exciting announcement about something we've been working on for a while [in the distance, haunting callings echo through the room: ....merch.....merch...!] We cannot WAIT to show you the design, so come check it out!
11:00 AM: A Public Never Post Editorial Meeting
Want to know how we pitch stories or hear what we talk about during meetings? Come watch the sausage get made!
2:00 PM: A Live WIGOH Recording
We record our recurring segment "What Is Going On Here?" where we bring our own strange snippets from the Internet AND take your WIGOH submissions to try to answer the titular question: what IS going on here?! So, do you have something that feels weird or inexplicable? Submit it here, and maybe we'll chat about it!
TUESDAY
9:00 AM: Morning Coffee with Mike
Like the news at the top of every segment, but more chatty AND with some special guests!!!
10:00 AM: A Team Chat AMA
Want to ask us questions about life, the Internet, and perhaps even...LOVE?! Come submit your Q's for our A's about anything and everything.
12:00 PM: Georgia's Glamorous Closet Tour
That's right! I'm going to take you into my closet to find my most intriguing garments that I forgot I bought, do a bit of "keep or donate" discourse, and who knows, maybe I'll play some dress up. Has my closet become a deep dark pit of mystery and confusion from which I may never return? Well, yes! And only YOU can help me traverse the depths!
8:00 PM: Jason Plays NBA Jam
Watch our dear Executive Producer Jason Oberholtzer do a dunk so swagadelic that we are all changed existentially forever! I don't understand basketball and at this point I'm too afraid to start trying so I will offer you a hearty GO TEAM!
WEDNESDAY
9:00 AM: Morning Coffee with Mike
10:00 AM: Audio, Music, and Process AMA!
Attn: all audio FREAKS! This is your chance to ask our team any and all burning questions you have about production.
12:00: Meet the pets of Never Post
Are you emotionally prepared to see the beautiful darling faces of the dogs and cats of the Never Post team? No, you're not! But come by anyway, and maybe my enormous black cat Beefcake will read your fortune.
1:30: The Best Post Ever Bracket
What IS the best post ever made? Well, we're endeavoring to find out! Thanks to the submission of some special guests, we're going to make a bracket of potential best posts of all time. Only one will reign victorious! Who will it be?! I, of course, see the answer in my crystal ball, but you'll have to tune in to see what the spirits have already told me.
THURSDAY
9:00 AM: Morning Coffee with Mike
10:00 AM: Mike Plays Weird Games And Talks About Membership!
Enjoy the dual delights of watching Mike play some freaky little games and give you an update on the drive.
11:00 AM: The ChillZone™️
Like floating down a digital lazy river, some chill vibes to get you maxin' and relaxin'.
12:00 PM: The Great Wikipedia Race
The team with some......special guests.....are going to play a game of what we're calling the Great Wikipedia Race. It goes like this: we'll start at a random wiki page, then roll a D20 to figure out how many hyperlinks we must click away from that page. Then, it's up to us to try to find our way BACK to that first random page in a different way from which we came. It's like Slow Post, but a game, and NONE OF YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FALL ASLEEP. I'm jk but also...LOCK IN.
2:00 PM: Hans Interviews an Expert Live!
We have such an amazing guest for this, and while I can't tell you who they are yet (....special guest....) I can say this: they're someone with an expertise in something that is NOT the Internet. Thrills await!
4:00 PM: Georgia Plays Date Everything!
That's right, folks: together...we're going to find the love of my life. Will it come in the form of the fireplace? Or the bathwater? Perhaps the safe? Who's my doppelgänger in the game, and will WE tie the knot?! Only you can help me on this journey of the heart. Watch me fall in love with everyone and everything LIVE!!!
6:00 PM: ChillZone™️
7:00 PM: A Live Recording of Never Watch!
In case you didn't know, Never Watch is our play-along audio hang fest where the members of the NevPo team record ourselves watching a movie together. And now, we're doing it live! What movie, pray tell, will we be watching? All will be revealed...in time...
FRIDAY
9:00 AM: Morning Coffee With Mike
10:00 AM: ChillZone™️
11:00 AM: Team Show & Tell
It says it right there on the tin: we are going to bring some fascinating, weird, cool, and even unsettling things in our home to show to YOU!
12:00 PM: A Live Recording of a Team Roundtable
You know 'em, you love 'em. And now, you get to listen to it live! We're going to record our next team roundtable chat (a la The Sound Files of Summer and our recent summer roundtable about ringtones) live in front of your very eyes! The topic this time? No, I shan't say. Not yet! Gotta keep you on your toes somehow.
2:00 PM: A Thank You!
Just a little farewell to say thank you for watching, listening, and loving our stuff. Besitos to all!
In addition to all of this, there will be member special, giveaways (!!!), and much more!!!
And THAT is the schedule! I will also offer this link to a Google Sheet with the schedule laid out ever-so-lovingly for your reference. I hope we see you there!