🆕 Post-Mortem: 2025!

Folks! The lang syne? You better believe it's auld. To send off 2025 and """welcome"""" 2026, for you, this fine day, we have a Year-in-review themed three-round trivia game with 6 of your favorite internet professionals. It's a hoot.

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• Call us at 651 615 5007 to leave a voice mail
• Drop us a voice memo via airtable
• Or email us at theneverpost at gmail dot com

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Our Esteemed Panel:

The Dog Hots

• Akilah Hughes! Rebel Spirit on iHeart
• Jamie Loftus! The Bechdel Cast; jamieloftus.xyz

6-7 Nights At Freddy’s

• Ryan Broderick! Garbageday.email
• Adam Bumas! Garbageday.email

2 Nerds 2 Furious

• Lily Alexandre! youtube.com
• Tom Lum! tomlum.com

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Special thank you to Annie Rauwerda from Depths of Wikipedia, Kurt White of the podcast Unravelling, and Morgan Sung of the podcast Close All Tabs.
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Assorted links you may be interested in:

• NY City Mayoral Election Day Stats - Pornhub
• Le Poisson Steve
• The dice game Hazard - Wikipedia
• Act 2, Scene ii of Richard II

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Never Post’s producers are Audrey Evans, Georgia Hampton and The Mysterious Dr. Firstname Lastname. Our senior producer is Hans Buetow. Our executive producer is Jason Oberholtzer. The show’s host is Mike Rugnetta.

Never Post is a production of Charts & Leisure

Friends, hello, and welcome to Never Posts Post Mortem 2025, a year end quiz show for and about the Internet. I'm your host, Mike Rugnetta, and this is publishing on the final day of 2025. A last gasp, a final coup de grace, a look back, not in anger. I've been told to never do that, but in reverence and also anger. Today, here, and now, we bid farewell to the complete clusterfuck that was 2025 by asking our esteemed panelists organized in three teams of two questions about it.

We do this to celebrate our guests for what they've seen and mock them for what they've missed, to celebrate the year for what it brought us, and to damn it for what it did to us. On our first team, author of Raw Dog, the Naked Truth About Hot Dogs, host of the Bechtel cast, comedian of jokes, actor of characters Yeah. Jamie Loftus. Perfect.

Yeah. Yeah. Go, Jamie.

Alongside, author of, obviously, stories from my timeline, host of the podcast Rebel Spirit, and Courier's How Is This Better renowned poster, Akilah Hughes.

Yes. Thank you.

Thank you.

Next up, team two, journalist, author of the newsletter Garbage Day, and host of the podcast Panic World, Ryan Broderick.

Hello.

Alongside, as always, researcher of the newsletter Garbage Day and the podcast Panic World, Adam Bumas. Great to be here.

Hello, Adam.

It's good to have you.

Classic. Classic.

And finally, team three, writer, filmmaker, culture critic, video essayist, host of the podcast TSTV, a Twin Peaks podcast, Lily Alexander.

I'm even happier to be here.

Wow. Wow.

Competition begins early this show.

Is. With

writer, host, video maker, Internet science communicator at large, and host of our findings show, the preeminent live staged science communication game show, Tom Lum.

I said, oh, no, when you said bio because I thought you were gonna read, like, our Twitter bio or something like that. And here's Tom Lum. Please please hire me. Please my live show. Please go.

K. We have some changes to make to Tom's bio here and writer, host, video maker. Please, please, please hire him. Tom Lom. Welcome, everybody, and welcome back.

This is the exact same panel that we had for last year's inaugural show. So it's really nice to have you all back here again to play for a second

time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Here's how this is gonna work. As mentioned, I'm your Quizmaster, master, Mike Rugnetta. I am joined behind the scenes by Neverpost's senior producer Hans Buto, and in front of the scenes by Neverpost's producer, Georgia Hampton.

I've decided to be really good at math this time.

Have you spent the last year training?

I believe last year I called subtraction reverse math. So, frankly, it can only go up

from here. We'll see if

we can top that. Georgia is gonna be our timekeeper, scorekeeper, and adjudicator, so do not get on her bad side. In the event there are any disputes, informational, personal, spiritual, Georgia is gonna be here to track down the truth in a world which has otherwise abandoned it, perhaps with the assistance of Duck Duck Go and a few crystals.

I'm surrounded by all of my mystical magical items to help me in this endeavor today.

Alright. The rules, like last time, are very simple. We have three rounds of five questions with one bonus question after each round. At the end of the round, we're gonna reveal and then score answers one by one. Correct answers are worth one point unless otherwise stated, and there are no penalties for wrong answers.

We politely request, as a matter of sportsmanship, you not go searching the internet for answers as we play. Claude was not invited to play this game for a reason.

He's a

piece of shit.

Fuck that, guys.

Fuck that. Yeah.

I'm so mad right now.

Before we get to the festivities and the questions and the answers, we have once again asked these teams to name themselves. Teams, are you all prepared to summarize your entire collective identity into one short witty epithet? We got some looks of fear, some vigorous nodding. Team one, Akila and Jamie. What would you like to call yourselves?

I you know

I think we're still

If I recall correctly, we won last year by a pretty wide margin. So I think we should stick with what definitely

for us. No. But you guys swept.

It was, like, it

was kind of embarrassing.

It is, like, that everyone had the Internet. It seemed like Yeah.

It's cheesy.

So, yeah, the doghats are here to say

best of luck to everyone.

Okay. We got the doghats, Adam and Ryan.

So Adam and I were discussing. He said he didn't want to be called crooked up white boys.

So That's the name I just sent you.

So he he has he has offered he has offered an alternative that I think is pretty good, which is so we're gonna be called six seven nights at Freddy's. You

caused Tom pain. Okay. Six seven nights at Freddy's. It's very fun.

Oh, I forgot we're gonna have to keep hearing that also. Oh, over and over again.

Two hours of your life. Yeah.

You have to

do the hands. It's part of the name, actually.

The balancing hand motion is part of the name.

Yeah.

And Tom and Lily.

So I believe last year, we were Nerds of a Feather. And so for the sequel, we are and once again, we're doing a a colon name with a sub name. So it is Two Nerds, Too Furious Yes. Colon.

Lilishin Intomzable? Okay.

Two nerds too okay. Spelt out or numeral? Numeral.

Thank you. All one word.

Absolutely numeral.

Two nerds too furious. And then what was the the subtitle of your

team name? Lilishin Intomzable. Excellent.

Alright. Amazing. We're gonna take a short break. We're gonna listen to some ads unless you're on the member feed. And when we come back, we're gonna play Never Posts Post Mortem 2025.

Welcome back to postmortem. Which round should we start with? How about round number one? In this round, you are all gonna be answering questions about the big moments, the big stories that broke containment and either leaked from meatspace to online or from online into physical reality, a border now so diaphanous, it's basically idiocy to be maintaining that it even exists. In 2025, we all finally got our wish, and Katy Perry finally fucked off into space.

Unfortunately, she came right back, and upon landing, declared that she felt super connected to love. Gayle King, also on the flight, said, I may now get my ears pierced.

Astronauts don't wanna tell you about the urge to get your ears pierced after you go to space.

Must be like an altitude thing.

It's ubiquitous.

They talk about overview effect about

how seeing the entire Earth really makes you feel connected to everybody, but then what they don't mention is what that makes you want to do is

Getting your ears pierced.

Yeah. There's, like, quote that astronaut, he, like, looked into space, and he thought to himself, wow. They should have brought Claire's employee. Yeah.

I need more holes. That's what I was thinking. I like you come back from space, and you're like, I gotta get another hole. There's just no Yeah.

Get another hole in there.

Obviously. In a shocking case of announcing the subtext, Pantone named the color of the year landlord white, sparking an amount of discourse not easy to paint over. Nice. Revolutionary protesters brought down the government of Nepal under the straw hat Pirates Jolly Roger flag from one piece, and proceeded to elect an interim prime minister via Discord. Yeah.

Sushi La Kharki is the first woman in Nepal's history serve as both prime minister and as chief justice of the Supreme Court of Nepal and was elected in the youths against corruption Discord server.

Come on, Nick.

In this round, you're gonna answer questions about the Internet related components of other big stories. Let's do it. One, we all helped set a Wikipedia record this year. Following a major event in May, traffic to all Wikimedia sites peaked at around 800,000 hits per second. This is according to the Wikimedia Foundation more than six times normal levels and an all time high.

What event precipitated this rush of uplooking?

What month was it? Sorry.

May. May.

Don't know.

I'm just staring into the middle distance. Please. Stop.

I'm so excited to hear whatever this answer is. Tom is Tom cannot keep it together.

Tom I was laughing at Lily laughing keeping it together.

Jamie, I I just found wrote.

I have an idea, but I don't remember what month that happened.

Yeah. Oh. Yes, Jamie. 100%.

Okay. And time is up. Okay. Question number two, round one. In 2017, entrepreneur Billy McFarland and rapper Ja Rule teamed up to launch the luxury live music event Fyre Festival, which ended up a legendary debacle.

This year, fresh out of prison, McFarlane hosted the Phoenix Festival with all of the vowels removed, so the Fynex Festival in Honduras, which according to Jezebel, had both food and bathrooms.

In this economy? For both holes. For both holes.

You gotta accommodate all the holes

in and out. Separate toilet.

Separate toilet. Well, of course.

Food go in and food come out.

So you

gotta have both

Yeah.

It took him about eight years to learn that.

It was both holes.

So the question here is, why the rebrand? Why not Fyre Festival two? Because the recognition is massive. In fact, the Fyre brand was sold in an eBay auction in July for not quite a quarter of $1,000,000. Players, can you tell us what aged Internet brand bought and then pivoted the Fire brand?

And for an extra point, could you also name the company's own pivot after a similar deal where their IP was purchased by an unrelated group?

All all I'm thinking is hurt brands hurt brands.

There there have been so many of these, like, things that people vaguely remember, and then they get bought and relaunched and remodeled.

Because you're like, oh, I know that and I like it. And then you go and it's just like, now it's an investment bank or something.

Yeah. You should okay. Okay.

I'm putting it in.

Guest in old things.

Yeah. I think that's the thing to do here. The I will warn you that when we get to it, the answer to this is enraging. Oh. Number three, round one.

In June, Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez got married in Venice, putting on reportedly the seventh most expensive wedding in modern history. The couple rented an entire island for the three day affair, which Venice's Ministry of Tourism estimated would generate roughly two thirds of the city's annual tourism take. For all of their cash and panache, there was one detail that slipped through the cracks. The wedding was ridiculed online for a specific decor disaster. What was it?

Sorry. No. This isn't right. That's all I got.

That's all I got.

I think it I think it works. I think it works.

K. Four. Microsoft Satya Nadella said the biggest problem facing AI isn't computing power, but power power. Data centers currently account for nearly 5% of The United States overall peak power usage. Over the next two years, that need could double, but infrastructure is not growing fast enough to meet demand.

So Microsoft is taking matters into its own hands. They will pay $16,000,000,000 with $1,000,000,000 of help from the Trump administration to do what? To solve the problem of not enough power to meet AI demand.

I mean

The they're basically the Microsoft is pressuring the Trump administration to, like, build a project that Microsoft needs. That that's right?

They're spending a lot of money to build a project with the help of of Trump in order to get more power.

Yeah.

Jamie. I I think what's

gonna become clear about this is like, I think this has been a year where I've had the healthiest attitude towards the Internet, and I'm being punished for it. Yes.

Say that.

Say that.

We said earlier that there are both points victories and moral victories, and perhaps the shortest way to a moral victory is to have just logged off.

Last question's gotta be, like, 500 word essay describe the joy of touching grass. Like

Yeah. And I think that's how we come back ultimately.

You can't even think of a joke answer. I still don't understand the question.

Question five, round one. The November 4 election of Zoran Mamdani as mayor of New York City apparently had some pretty big impacts. According to the research and data team at Pornhub, the election affected viewership numbers that day. Oh. Players, please tell us, do you think viewership of Pornhub went up or down the day Zoran Mamdani was elected?

For an additional point, you can guess how much you think it went up or down. And if you get within 10 percentage points, we're gonna call it good. And for an additional additional point, what was the most searched for term in New York City the day Zoran Mamdani won the mayor race, up a whopping 957%.

I'm trying to think what I was searching that day.

What was I DDoSing porn up with? Yeah.

You know? I Once you get into the goon or flow state, it's, like, really hard to keep track of what's going on. But

Now that's a team name.

Yeah. Once I'm hooked up to my rig, I'm not really sort of thinking straight.

Yes. Put it, please. I think we got the first part right. That rules.

Players, let's score round one.

Okay.

Question number one. What event precipitated the rush of uplooking on all Wikimedia sites, which peaked at around 800,000 hits per second? Team one, the dog hots, what'd get?

He said Two. Poop. Nailed it.

Like, caught the pope. Yes. Thanks, guys.

That might

have the

pope. Know that's That

is correct.

The election of Pope Leo in May is what did it.

Awesome. That's all on Jamie. I had nothing.

Let's let's let's not get used to us having the right answer. Let's Yeah. Let's You

were so unsure. You were really daunting yourself, and you've nailed it.

Well, just keep watching. You know what mean? No.

Six seven nights at Freddy's.

We also had new poke.

Nice. As

we know, nailed it. Two nerds, two furious.

Yeah. We put down queen died again.

Any specific queen or just, like, a queen in general?

I I just remember it was so big last year, The the or the year before prior that the queen died. That was like the big Wikipedia thing.

It was the whole Jesus thing. I know this year has been busy, but

There was just some some queen searching runoff that just got over into the next year. No. She

died again. No. She did it again.

She was queen Elizabeth the second and third.

Doing the, like, Taylor Swift thing. Well, she she can't stand not being the first. There's all that we can do. Oh my god.

They brought her back together again.

It's true. One last job.

Main character syndrome.

One last

job. Wanted to they wanted

to distract everyone from the Epstein stuff, so they brought it

back. Yeah. It's like I'll

die again.

K. Question number two. Please place your answers to question number two, which was, can you tell us what aged Internet brand bought and pivoted the fire brand and what their own pivot was when their IP was purchased? Six seven nights at Freddy's, what did you write?

It's Limewire, and they're a crypto company now.

That is correct. Bummer. That's I

were literally writing about this before we started recording today.

Well well.

Crypto like the most boring pivot at this point. What year is it?

You know? I think are they are do any specialize in NFTs? NFTs.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was what they were doing when they purchased LimeWire, and now they're acting as if that never happened.

Yeah. They're trying to, like, get one to forget

about that.

I understand why.

Two nerds too furious. What was your answer?

The company was Netscape, and the product is Netcapes.

Wow. And if they do

anything while you're falling or whatever, it's actually very inefficient.

Yeah. That doesn't sound like a good product.

But the fashion might

Oh, but

crypto does?

More useful than an NFT. Sure. Yeah. And the dog hots?

This is on me. You know? I didn't know. So I said Napster, and I don't know what they would have pivoted to. Not music, essentially.

I mean, you were in the neighborhood, though.

That's that's all Akil. I I guessed ask Jeeves. Wow.

That's cool. Napster did get purchased and turned into, like, an AI music platform. So

Thanks, Riot. I

got you. Alright.

Question number three. The wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez was ridiculed online for a specific decor disaster. What was it? We didn't know this one. Two nerds too furious.

What was your answer?

Well, the the guys on the cake, the figures, they forgot their pants.

Naked cake toppers.

Yeah. Butts out.

Is that really what it was?

No. No. It was not. I

would believe that though.

I think that's the closest we have to a credible answer. I know. Thought it was.

The dog the dog hots, what was your answer?

I think inviting Sydney Sweeney was just a weird thing to do.

The first domino that fell.

Yeah. That's you're going to your friend's wedding, and she's just there. What?

Interesting to describe Sydney Sweeney as a decor disaster. She's in the room.

If the shoe fits. Yeah.

Six seven nights at Freddy's. What was your answer?

Yeah. So we didn't know this one, but I guess that Jeff Bez's head was too shiny.

That's always true. Honestly.

I mean, good pull.

They didn't polish it. They polish it too much or no?

It's like one of those, like, anti paparazzi things where it, like, the glare blares at the camera so

you can't see.

None of the

pictures came out

of beautiful Mediterranean sun.

It was

just too much.

Too much.

Yeah. It's almost head head too shiny.

It's like a magnifying glass.

So the answer to this is that at the reception, there was really ugly office carpeting. Ugly gray squares of office carpeting at this otherwise immaculately designed extremely expensive wedding, and it really does draw the eye down.

It's pretty unforgettable.

Except by all of us.

Except by all of you guys.

Right. Yeah. We believe for you.

I think it is radical and beautiful that none of us cared enough about this wedding to know the answer.

Question number four.

We've got this one. We've got this one.

This was definitely right.

Microsoft is gonna pay $16,000,000,000 to solve the crisis of not enough power for their AI data centers by doing what? The doghots. Our answer was Xboxes.

Just Xboxes.

But with a little

smile and

with a smiley face. I will say I

am charmed by the smiley face.

I was

gonna say, maybe we should

have a secret point counter for this.

For just for how cute we can make.

How how charming can we be while being completely wrong?

Listen.

Guys, we wanna be at least in the conversation at the end

of this.

Six seven nights at Freddy's?

Yeah. We said that they were gonna build this program called Stargate, which they said it was gonna be focused in in the West and just, like, build a bunch of new data centers with government money.

It does sound true. It might it might actually be true. Let's read the last answer, and then we'll have Georgia adjudicate.

Okay.

Two nerds too furious, what did you have?

Yeah. Just they just stopped doing AI. They developed more clarity. Yeah.

They're gonna pay $16,000,000,000

to just knock it off.

Yeah. They're done. They said they're done.

Similar to Stargate, we almost we almost put build a The Matrix.

So the answer that I have here is that they have recommissioned 3 Mile Island. Woah.

Oh, right. I actually do remember this.

They will pay $16,000,000,000 to recommission 3 Mile Island and to open it as a power plant. I think 80% of whose output will go to Microsoft. For anybody in our audience who doesn't know, 3 Mile Island is a famous power plant in Pennsylvania in The United States that is the site of the only domestic nuclear incident in The United States. One of its reactors went into meltdown for a short amount of time. No one was injured, and there is no long term health impacts from that, but it nonetheless is like a really big sort of, like, cultural touchstone for, Americans' reticence and hesitance around, nuclear power.

It's why Homer Simpson works at a nuclear power plant because that was a big story in the late eighties. Oh.

So I'm seeing here that that was the first AI data center under Stargate.

I also just saw that Microsoft makes Xboxes.

That's true. They do. They

do make Xbox.

So I think we both

get a good version of gonna stop. They never said they were gonna stop.

A power plant could be anything.

Okay. Georgia, who's getting points?

Ryan, where did you see the that it's the first Stargate thing? I'm not seeing that.

Made it up. No. I I saw it in a Bloomberg piece.

So Okay.

This is actually confusing. But I I it seems like the 3 Mile Island Nuclear plant is part of the Stargate stuff, I guess. But I'm I don't really understand this. But

I'll give you a point.

Yeah. I'll give you a point.

Yes. We're all having fun.

For doing original research in the recording.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually so true.

It hasn't really occurred to us to get right answers, so you guys are kinda speeding ahead of us.

Okay. Question number five for round one. You can place your answers. Did viewership of Pornhub go up or down the day Zoran Mamdani was elected? How much did it go up or down, and what was the number one search term in New York City that night?

Up over 900%. Six, seven nights at Freddy's. What was your answer?

We said that the that the swing in Pornhub activity went up the day Zoran Mamdani was elected, and we said it went up by 90%. And the most popular search term that saw, like, several times over increase was MELF.

I'm guess I I am sort of half remembering that, but I I feel like it was something about, like, angry gooning on Staten Island, and then I was like, well, what's the funniest thing for people on Staten Island to be angry gooning about? And it was like milk. That milk's yeah. Because I I feel like what I read was like it was upset Cuomo supporters, and I was like, well, Cuomo supporter, obviously, they're be looking at milk. So that that was the thinking there.

That is actually true that Staten Island was an outlier. I don't think I can give you a point, but I do wanna tell you that.

I want to just have that on the record that I knew that.

Yes. Do you want that on the record, Ryan? Yeah. I Jack and Island.

It's how I make my money. Jack and Island. I know and stuff like that.

Okay. Two nerds, two furious. What was your answer?

We thought the opposite. That's smart. My thought was they were going down because everyone was having a ball in real life celebrating.

Having sex in real life.

Yeah. And so, yeah, our our most searched was socialist sex positions. This is our hole.

From each according to their means, to each according to their need.

And my knees are huge.

The dog hots.

We said up, but a modest up. People were busy that day. Twelve just twelve percent. And the search term is unrelated to the election. It was step siblings, which is Yeah.

Just every single one. Classic.

Yeah. It's just unrelated.

Some days you want that more than others. Yeah.

Okay. So for the entire day, viewership was down over the The biggest dip in traffic across the whole day was at 10PM. 41%.

Good. Wow.

And the most searched term was big butts. Big butts. Okay.

Wow. That's Well,

So I wanna give a point to two nerds too furious because y'all did get it right that it went down.

Alright. And finally, in round one, we have our first bonus question from our friend Morgan Sung, host of the excellent podcast Close All Tabs. Hans, can you please roll Morgan's tape?

Hello, players. The hottest show on TV right now, HBO's heated rivalry, which in case you've missed the hype is about two rivaling hockey stars who fall in love. A multi year situationship and lots of smut ensue. And even hotter than that, it's all gay yearning. But Heated Rivalry is actually based on a sequel to a novel that originally started as a fanfic on archive of our own.

Players, please tell us, what ship did that original fanfic revolve around? Hint. It's a Disney property.

It's a Disney property.

For an additional point, what was that couple's ship name? And for an extra bonus point, women love boys kissing. This genre of boy on boy romance was largely popularized by manga and anime. What is the Japanese term for female fans of this genre? And for one more point, BL is so popular online now that the Japanese term for female fans of this genre is now a meme verb.

Players, can you use that name in a sentence? No.

I could. Okay.

Here I'll

I've never answered any trigger question faster than this

one. Okay.

I'll read them all out again. Tell us what ship did that original fanfic revolve around Okay. Hint it's a Disney property. What was that couple's ship name? What is the Japanese term for female fans of the genre of boy romance that was largely popularized by manga and anime?

And BL is so popular online now that the Japanese term for female fans of this genre is now its own meme verb. Players, can you use that name in a sentence?

I forget. What's the what's the ship name for Mickey and Goofy? Help me out.

I don't think you can say that in polite company.

Are you talking about the geeky thing? Tom. I love the geeky shit.

Woah. Cool. There's only one bed in the hotel. Oh my god.

Just put it in.

Okay. Hans will play us the tape where she reveals the answers.

I'm gonna I'm gonna use the restroom because I know this one. I don't even need

a Oh my god. Wow.

Two nerds two furious, what were your answers to Morgan's questions?

The ship was a beast and chandelier. The name is Bandelier. The physic the geometry of it, I don't know how it works. Yeah. And to

be clear, we're not talking about Lumiere. We're not misremembering his name. We're talking about the chandelier. The big

chandelier. The

genre is Yowie, which I feel pretty good about for no personal reasons. And Tom, do you wanna do you wanna give us the final component of this?

Vegeta, what you don't know is I'm Fujo ing out right now.

That's good. Did you work on your Goku impression before this?

A little bit. But weren't we all? I I said I was prepping for this.

I'm out right now.

Let's fucking go.

We got this, man.

Alright. The dog hots. What do you have?

Bob Iger and Michael Eisner, also known as Bisner.

I guess technically

a Disney property.

Yeah. It's just The fanfic is called earnings call. And

it's kind of hand trick kind of thing because, yeah, they're both jacking off furiously on opposite coasts. That's exactly right.

Are they doing it to the shareholders? Are they listening in?

Yeah. The shareholders are the fans of the thing.

They're part of it.

They're part

of it. Actually, Hassan, the shareholders are watching.

I just heard

But then the shareholders are kind of into it.

And Yeah. They kinda like it. And they're like,

come on guys. Going up?

Yeah. And I can't use it in a sentence. It's actually it's too explicit for this. Powerful. Yeah.

Six seven nights at Freddy's.

Well, if you all read garbage day, you would know that it's based on Captain America the Winter Soldier Yeah. A Marvel property owned by Disney. The ship is Stucky, which is Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. The term for boys love in Japanese is Yowie, and there are two ways to use the fandom for Yowie in a sentence. One is I'm straight Fujoshi ing it to heated rivalry right now, or I'm also Fujoe ing it to Stucky on a o three as well.

Damn.

I'm damn

Oh, sorry. The cops just pulled up. I gotta go. They're arrested.

Alright. Let's hear the answers from Morgan.

The original fic Game Changers is based on Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers from Marvel's Captain America. The couple's ship name is Stucky. Female fans of Yowie, also known as BL for boys love, are called Fujoshis, fujos for short. Used in a sentence, babe, he had rivalries on. God forbid a girl fujou out on a weeknight.

Wow. Ryan

Wow. It looks like he just wrote the exact answer. That must be really good for you. That's great.

Alright. That's the end of round one. Georgia, how are our scores looking?

Wow. Okay. In last place is the dog hots.

Shut up, Bryce. Two points.

In second place, with three points, is two nerds, two furious. We'll take it. In the top spot, six seven with a whopping seven

points. Listeners, Ryan's doing the hand gestures every time. Every single time. That's

of the numbers.

Meme number. Meme number. Congratulations to everybody. It is still anyone's game. Alright.

We're gonna take a quick break, and then we're gonna go on to round two. Alright, everybody. Welcome back. Here we are in round two of Never Posts Post Mortem twenty twenty five. In round two, we turn our attention to jokes for people without friends, aka Internet memes.

Nothing beats a jet two holiday except, of course, dopamine poisoning from your April nothing beats a jet two holiday video. In 2025, Duolingo killed Duo the Owl. People rushed in droves to accuse various parties, Luigi Mangione and Ezio from Assassin's Creed amongst them. Before long, the language learning company revealed the official cause of death, a hit and run by a cyber truck. Six seven happened and continues to happen.

Yeah. And finally, TikTok was banned for fourteen hours, leading legions of users to mourn the app and celebrate all it brought into their lives only to have it return the next morning. A sale has been arranged, but not finalized, likely putting the app under control of a cadre of president Trump's cronies. I hope everyone here is looking forward to posting their federally mandated Charlie Kirk remembrances every year.

Charlie Kirk. We go. Everybody. Let's let's

get on beat. Let's do some

warm ups. In

this round, dumb questions about dumb jokes. Everybody ready? One. On 01/06/2024, Chicago based comedian, Winslow Dumaine posted, had to make a pilgrimage to the Chicago Rat Hole on a picture of a rain soaked piece of pavement and in it, a rainwater filled rat shaped hole. Thus launched the saga of Chicago's most beloved landmark, which was pilgrimaged to, discourse about, filled, and then re excavated.

In 2025, an international team of researchers from Tennessee, North Carolina, New York, and Calgary determined with 98.67% likelihood Six seven. That the Chicago rat hole was made not by a rat, but by what?

Yes. I'm dropping subtle hints that it was a tiny little cat. It was a small not a kitten. That'd be too sad. It was a tiny little cat.

Everyone remember to write that down.

Okay. Question number two, round two. Guys, gents, fellas are having a tough go. From the male loneliness epidemic to sometimes needing to be a little nicer to women, straight men everywhere had a real rocky 2025. They can't even go outside and enjoy their leisurely pastimes without being mocked and ridiculed online.

For three points, could each team please describe in as much detail as is possible one performative male?

Do we get points for all of the ones we can do?

I'm just doing a free write.

No. This is now we're looking for maximum performative male.

Paint me a beautiful picture.

Okay. Okay.

Feel like this more than any other question, everyone is so locked in.

We're building worlds here.

Yes. Yes. Oh my gosh. I can see him. Okay.

He's here.

Yes. Yes.

It's just Ryan.

It's Joe.

Oh, I wish. I wish.

We cut to Ryan that

he's Yeah. I

really wish.

Oh, got him.

We we have a we have a novella.

Oh, I'm so excited. Excited.

Oh my god.

Okay. Question number three, round two. This year, TikTok user lils bowls marabella two has held her libubu over an open flame. She has assaulted it with a screwdriver. She has driven over it with a car, pretended to dunk it in Coca Cola, and mimed washing it with dish soap, attracting hundreds of thousands to millions of views on various videos and endless enraged comments for her original claim, which is that said La boo boo is what?

Yep. Mhmm.

What quality is she claiming is the case of this LaBubu that justifies her trying to light it on fire, poking it with a screwdriver, running over it with a car, etcetera, etcetera?

Phone's getting so tiny on the performative.

I'm watching this happen.

We're still adding to it. Oh my god. Yeah.

K. Four. Oh, you think that nonsense is your ally, but you merely adopted it. I was born into it, molded by it. I didn't see sense until I was already a man, and by then, it was nothing to me but confusion.

For every Italian brain rot character you can name, you gain one point. Spelling does not count. Spelling doesn't count? Spelling does not count.

Okay. Do you know these?

Yeah. I have a teenage sibling, so I can There go. Yeah.

Italian brain rat character? Yes.

This is a whole thing. I remember this. Hold on.

Okay. I have, like, one.

K. Question number five. What is this sound from?

Woah. Woah. Yes.

I don't know this one. Is it like a Pharrell beat?

Achilles du Vini?

I do.

I'm just typing in Italian words I think are real.

That's gotta be at least a point.

Alright. Those are all the questions for round two. Let's score round two. Question number one. With 98.67% likelihood, a group of academics have determined that the Chicago rat hole was not made by a rat, but by a what?

The dog hots. What is your answer?

Is it still Bisner? Still

it's earnings call. Squirrel. You are correct. Yes.

Yes. Thank you, Jamie.

The one answer I knew.

67NightsAt Freddy's. What is your answer?

We weren't totally sure, so I guess TheBear.

Yeah. You know, the star of show. That's what it's about. Right? Bear?

I've heard Jeremy Allen White is short, but not that short.

Is he the bear?

He is

rat hole.

The bear

is the spirit of the city of Chicago.

That's right. Right.

To nerds too furious, what was your answer?

It was a squirrel, but not just any squirrel. It was a screen age, scrutin screenger squirrel.

Screen age. Scrutin, screenger squirrel.

Yes. I'm doing an extra point for pizzazz.

Squirrels in the concrete.

Okay. Question number two. Please describe in excruciating detail one performative male.

I need to be wowed.

Six, seven nights at Freddy's. Let's do you first.

Yeah. So I just looked outside my window in Bed Stuy and just described a man that I saw, and he was listening to Claro drinking matcha, reading books, also drinking belt boba and wearing salvage denim.

God. The salvage denim pole.

He's got, like, 50 pounds a gear.

See he was listening to Claro.

Oh, you can see it.

He held he held he held up

his his his iPod. No.

He he's

holding the the LP.

Yeah. He's retro.

Oh, vinyl. That is

yeah. Alright. Pretty pretty damn good.

Alright. Two nerds too furious.

Oh, this, I say reading bell hooks by an open window smoking a cigarette. Yeah. It is the record store day edition of Claro's first LP. I'm a bit of a Fujoshi. Shout to Fujoshi.

A Fujoshi comment.

She can Claro mention. Wow.

Got a

I got a The

POV of this is really selling me, so I'm going to afford two points.

I like to picture myself down on the sidewalk. He's like calling out, you know,

from above. Yes.

No one asked.

That's why. Hello?

Finally, the dog hots.

Tote bag, feminist slash ally t shirt, painted nails for the first time. Wow. Found to be emotionally abusive by multiple women. And he's reading a book, probably all fours by Miranda July. Oh my god.

Wow. Posting about perimenopause on his Instagram story. He's listening and learning.

Akila and Jamie. Points. Three points. Points. Three points.

Three Three Three points.

Points. That's a fucking novel. That's the American

novel. I started sweating

out of fear and anger. Man.

Wow. Okay. I mean, everyone obviously gets points.

Yeah. He just learned about bread crumbing because a bunch of girls said he did that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's using he's using therapy language to yell

at you. That's right. Yeah. He has an older sister, though, so it's fine. Oh my god.

It's not just that he's avoidant. He's avoidant dismissive. He does

the attachment style book. That was a crucial one.

God. Exquisite. The Miranda okay.

Okay. Next question. What's the deal with that Lububu? Two nerds too furious. What was your answer?

Well,

she was trying to convince us that it was alive.

Oh. And

had to be put down.

Have to delicious libubu till it's free.

Our real answer. I believe am I right that this is the I have the only 24 carat gold Le Boo Boo.

Yes. Alright.

The one and only. Woah.

The dog hots, what was your answer?

Yeah. We said Ugly.

He said it deserved

what happens to Honestly, wrong. Not wrong.

The audience did not agree, but she was adamant that it was the it was just too ugly.

It was just too ugly to live.

Yeah. That is wrong, but it is also right.

It is it is a hideous looking object.

God, it really is.

Six seven nights at Freddy's.

We also said gold.

It is the one and only 24 karat gold. Le bobo. Le bobo.

But I will I will give it to you.

Okay. For every Italian brain rock character you can name, you gain one point. Alright. The doghats.

Alright. I think the first one is a real one and then it it kind of devolves. We've got Ballerina Cappuccino. Yes. I've said Mary Manicotti Bugatti.

I feel like boobellini was something.

Yep. Yep.

There was, like, chimpanzini Luigi mama. Luigi mama.

Luigi mama's pregnant. That was okay. Luigi mama's pregnant.

Is that an extra point if one of them is pregnant?

Yes. I'm

gonna keep that. I'm gonna start using that.

Six seven nights at Freddy's.

Here we got Bombardino Crocodillo. We have Tongue Tongue Sahur. We have Ballerina Cappuccino, just like the Dog Hots did. Then we have Chimpanzini Bananini, which was one of several chimpanzinis, actually. And we're ending it with the OG, Tralla Lero Tralla la.

Wow. Two nerds too furious.

It must be sad to know these things.

Yeah. Okay.

Let's see. A marinade black cappuccino. Crocodillo bombardino. Andrew Cuomo.

Andrew Cuomo.

I mean, I'm inclined to agree.

I'm put I'm putting a point in there.

He'd take the press. Alright. I can confirm ballerina cappuccino. Mhmm. Crocodillo, bombardino.

Chimpanzini, Bananini. Yes.

Oh, damn. I

will confirm for you for that that one is real.

Correct. Yes.

Luigi Mama. Luigi Mama's pregnant.

Luigi Mama's pregnant would have gotten you a point, but I only see Luigi Mama.

That's tough. That's tough. Andrew

Cuomo. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

The brain the brain rots in several ways around.

The brain does

rot in many ways. So I'm an Italian. Whose brains have rotted. Right?

Question number five in round two. What was that sound from? Six seven nights at Freddy's.

We guessed on this one because it was brain rot. So we guessed it was my favorite band of the year, the Velvet Sundown.

Interesting. Interesting. Two Nerds Too Furious.

Steve. Hello. Wow. Wow. Steve.

You say, Laurent. I hate it makes me feel millennial coded saying it so earnestly, but I like it.

That is correct. The dog hots?

Me and I was thinking of, like, a dance on TikTok. It says this dance on TikTok where people do where they, I wanna say, cover their face or something.

I feel like I already know the answer to this, but there's a secret bonus question here, which is anybody who can sing the entirety of the verse in French that is in most of the videos can get an extra 10 points.

10. That's the last one. He has arms and legs.

Yep. He nailed it. Tom got it. So Tom gets an extra 10 points.

Tom, we just won the game.

Oh,

this is delightful.

Good job, Tom.

Very nice.

It's just a little cartoon fish who's orange and has arms and legs. That's

it. It's a return to form for the Internet. It

kinda is. That is the end of round two. Georgia, how's everybody scores looking?

Okay. I've done the impossible. I've added numbers together.

She prevailed.

There has been quite an upset, but not in terms of who's in last place. No. I'm sorry to say, my darlings, the doghats have seven points.

We've been here before. I just feel like this is something

where losing is winning. Losing is winning in many

ways. Yeah.

I saw my friends this year.

Moving on. There's been a dramatic upset because six seven is in second place with 14 points. And specifically, I think because of Tom's knowledge of Le Poisson Steve, two nerds too furious is in first place with 22 points. Wow.

We are the champions. Now now, Lily, all we have to do now, we have to stall the clock. Stop the couch.

Stop the couch. That last round. No.

Okay. Here we are at our second guest bonus question. What question from Yonder contributor is posed? Tis a second bonus question, and our friend Kurt White, social worker and psychotherapist and cohost of the podcast Unraveling is the sun. Hans, tape, please.

Hello, Never Post. This is Kurt White, friend of the show. For 10 points, what Gen Alpha defining trend took the world by storm over the last several months?

This is a buzz in first sort of scenario. So who are Buzz.

Six seven.

Buzz. Okay. I think Akila got it.

If you said six seven, you're correct.

It's the name of your team, Ryan. Get your head in the game.

Listeners, the look on Ryan's face is as delicious as you would. Yeah.

Now this is fascinating to me because I think it's an example of a kind of linguistic accidental convergence. Because this number, six seven, was already in the popular culture. In what popular expression for 10 more points?

Buzz, six foot seven foot Lil Wayne.

Incorrect.

Buzz?

Adam.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Incorrect. Tom, Lily, do Was

it just, like, six seven? Like, for the the basketball player who would, like, score points and whatever? I don't watch sports.

This is

the more advanced version of the 69 position. It's just is

is he is he referencing the song? Is that what he's talking about?

If you said to be at sixes and sevens, you would be right. For a 100 points, what fourteenth century dice game is the origin of the phrase at sixes and sevens.

100 points.

For a 100 points, what's the fourteenth century dice game at sixes and sevens?

Buzz Schlooples.

It's a

good guess, unfortunately. Incorrect.

Buzz backgammon?

Incorrect. Buzz, old Yahtzee?

They called it that at the time. That's true. Yeah.

No. Didn't even prove it.

Yeah. Great guess.

If you said hazard, you're correct. And probably smarter than most people. No. Who is widely credited for popularizing the phrase six and seven in Western European culture?

Who is widely credited for popularizing the phrase six and seven in Western European culture?

Was Napoleon. Incorrect.

No. He was really lying about his height.

J Robert Oppenheimer. Incorrect.

It sounds like British currency, like 6 shillings or whatever.

If you said William Shakespeare, that's 10 more points for

you.

Oh, fuck.

So I hope that you have a wonderful New Year, and thank you for everything.

Aw, Kurt.

I do have a scoring update, which is that doghats are not in last place anymore. Six seven is in last place with 14 points.

Oh. Wow. Reversal.

Doghats are in second place with 17 points.

We're gonna hold on

to it.

Catching up to two nerds two furious with 22 points. So who knows what'll happen?

We'll find out in round three. See everybody soon. And we're back. Okay. The last and final and also final round of Never Post Post Mortem twenty twenty five.

In this round, we are concerned with your safety. 2025 was a dangerous year with breaches, leaks, risks, and pitfalls galore. The social network x in an effort to increase transparency enabled a feature which revealed the primary location out of which accounts operate, exposing many active conservative accounts as being located in The Philippines, Africa, Macedonia, and others. The Department of Homeland Security was labeled as being based in Israel. The feature was quickly turned off.

Though they have not made as much news this year, the Orca attacks continue. Just over the last few months, Orcas have sunk several yachts mostly off the coast of Portugal. It must be rough for the super rich having to worry about your well-being knowing that at any time random circumstances may have irreversible effects on your life. Perhaps they should attempt donating to the Orca's super packs. And finally, this year mister beast announced that he will branch out to offer both mobile phone and banking services.

The Gen Z Richard Branson has cultivated an image of business savvy through his YouTube videos where for legal purposes, the following phrase is satire. He tortures poor people who hope to be compensated for their turmoil.

Yes.

That is definitely a guy that I want watching over my retirement account. In this round, questions about staying safe in a world indifferent to your suffering. Is everybody ready?

Oh, yeah. Alright.

K. Question number one. In July, astronomer CEO Andy Byron was caught on the Kiss Cam canoodling with the company's HR chief Kristen Cabot at a Coldplay concert. See what I did there? Millions of people watched the video.

Millions of high horses were mounted as was a formal investigation within the company shortly after which Byron handed in his resignation. Prior to the incident, Astronomer had recently relocated its headquarters to New York and raised a $100,000,000 in VC funding. Which celebrity did Astronomer hire less than two weeks following the cold play cock up as a temporary spokesperson to do damage control.

Akhilah, you leaned This is this

is my bread and butter. Right? Excellent. This is the kind of salacious shit I get into online. I love it.

Trying to think about scammy celebrities, and it's kind of easier to think of ones that aren't trying to rip us off.

It's a real 2025 vibe. K. Question number two. This year, we saw the biggest crypto heist in history. $1,500,000,000 was stolen from the Dubai based exchange Bybit.

In order to pull off the heist, hackers needed to secure approval from multiple high level Bybit employee accounts. Researchers conclude that the thieves must have spent months preparing, working both socially and programmatically. They have yet to be caught, but security experts say these are techniques often employed by hackers working for whom?

It would be so awesome if

we didn't come in last.

I know.

I didn't think this was gonna be possible.

Okay. Question number three. In March, Atlantic editor in chief Jeffrey Goldberg was mistakenly added to a signal group chat by national security adviser Mike Waltz in which JD Vance, Steven Miller, Pete Hegseth, and others were strategizing about operation rough rider, a campaign of air and sea strikes against Houthis in Yemen. In the chat, Hegseth shared details about the strike. John Ratcliffe revealed the name of an active undercover CIA operative, and JD Vance engages in his most favorite pastime, complaining.

In the exchange, what is the massively ironic six word phrase which Pete Hegseth posted and which in a just world would be carved on his headstone?

Six letter or six word?

Six word. Question number four. A popular text message scam involves the scammer pretending to be a famous person, interested for some reason in a relationship with the fan and then asking for some reason for money. Though they have been named Brad Pitt scams after a particularly egregious case in France, another male star is reportedly the most impersonated by far. So much so that this year, the Hollywood reporter revealed that he spends thousands of dollars of his own money per month paying a private service to report scammers using his name to social platforms.

Who is that person?

Oh, fuck.

I know who this is.

Tom, that's so random that it must be true.

Yeah.

Think you should put that full answer, JV.

That's not someone I've thought about in ten years. I think I think it's gotta be.

Okay. And final question of the round. On October 19, thieves stole €88,000,000 worth of crown jewels from the Louvre. Over the course of eight minutes, the thieves used a furniture lift to gain access to a second story balcony where they used a disc cutter to gain access through a window and which they then used to threaten guards. Laurence Dakar, the president and director of the Louvre said that while the Louvre's Louvre's security system was operating as expected, president the single camera in that gallery was not facing the aforementioned window.

In the wake of the incident, a 2014 security audit has resurfaced in which it is revealed that the Louvre's surveillance system password was, and until this heist remained, what? And players, this answer, like all passwords, is case sensitive.

Amazing. I'm almost a 100% certain, Demi.

Oh my god. Incredible.

Okay. Scoring next. Alright, everybody. Let's look at some answers for round three about safety and security. Question number one.

Andy Byron was caught on cam canoodling with the HR person. What temporary spokesperson was hired to do damage control for astronomer? The doghats.

Akila knew this immediately.

I'm 99% certain it was Gwyneth Paltrow. You are a 100%

correct.

Yeah. Yeah. What?

It was like, we gotta hire Coldplay's ex wife. Yeah. Oh my god. Relationship expert.

Six seven nights at Freddy's.

We had the same thing. Nice. That's not true.

Two nerds too furious.

I'm pissed off because, like, the true answer is almost funnier, but Chris Martin himself.

He is

the one.

You were close.

Hey, guys. A little adultery is fine every once in a while. I used to rule.

Alright. Question number two. The hackers who stole $1,500,000,000 worth of crypto from a Dubai based exchange Bybit have not been caught, but security experts say they very likely work for who? Six Seven Nights at Freddy's.

We guessed on this one, but gonna go with North Korea.

That guess pays off because it's right. They love pig butchering skills. That's that's how

we came up

with them.

Two nerds too furious.

We said lime wire. Getting their foot in the door.

Making big moves.

Close. Close. The dog huts.

We said the government or even Russia. The government. The government.

To be fair

I think North Korea is an example of the government.

Listen. I'll give you a point for duh. Question

number three, what is the massively ironic six word phrase that Pete Hegseth posted in that signal chat? Two nerds too furious.

More like, yeet, Hesketh. I'm out. And then be like, incredible.

Dog hots?

It'd be crazy if this leak. And

then the, like, wacky tongue out emoji, like

six seven nights at Freddy's.

We are clean on op sec. Wow.

The the actual phrase is we are currently clean on op sec as one word, but I think that this is close enough.

Okay. Yeah. Right? I think that's fine. I think that's fine.

Alright. Question number four, who is the most impersonated celebrity online by far so much so he spends his own money to try to do something about it? Two nerds too furious.

I had a hunch just because I think this is the one I saw first when I first saw this. So my guess

is Orlando Bloom. That's a really good guess, but it's not right. Okay. Dog Hots?

This is a guess based on, like, celebrity that's online but not good at it. So we're we're we're throwing Jeremy Renner's name back into the conversation.

After the year he's had,

I can't be him.

Did you see that somebody called his performance in Wake Up Deadman the first ever post humus acting performance?

My god. That's no sense.

Yeah. Six Seven Nights at Freddy's.

We guessed George Clooney.

Also a good guess. The actual answer is Keanu Reeves.

Oh, sure.

Oh, I see it. Most impersonated by far.

Yeah. Right.

And finally, what was the Louvre's surveillance system password? DogHots.

I believe that this is right. I think it was just Louvre.

How case sensitive are we being?

We are being extremely case sensitive.

And that is incorrect.

It had a capital.

It's L. I'm sorry. I'm

sorry. It's alright.

It's alright. It's six seven nights at Freddy's. We could have

had it all.

Yeah. We lost this one too.

We made we made the same mistake. I

can't believe we're the only ones that got it. Wow.

It's lonely at the top.

We're seeing baguette with a

three. God.

We do have to be strict with this one, but that would have had my point in a perfect world.

But we should be strict.

No takers on this one. Alright.

Alright. I've gathered the points. In last place is six seven.

Oh my god.

With 17 points.

Wow. Shameful.

In second place is the doghouse

Oh my god.

With 19 points.

Well, take it. Respectable.

Which means that in first place is two nerds too furious with 22 points.

Yay. Woo hoo.

Lelishen Intombzable.

Thank you.

Someone says the full name.

I wasn't brave enough to try.

Folks, that's very exciting, But we do have one final question to go. That's right. Oh, boy. For the final course, our third bonus question, this time from Annie Ruwerda, creator and denizen of the depths of Wikipedia. Annie was kind enough to send us her question from the airport.

Just like Kurt's bonus questions, the first person to answer wins it. Hans, give us that tape.

In 2011, a nine year old named Milo Kress launched a viral campaign to ban plastic straws. He apparently conducted a phone survey of straw manufacturers that led him to declare that Americans used 500,000,000 plastic straws every single day. The figure has been widely disputed. Anyway, Milo Kress is a college graduate now and in 2025, he got a job at which leading AI company best known for developing Claude?

Anthropic. Correct. Look

at him. You guys won.

Wow. Aren't you glad AI safety is in the hands of someone with a proven history of pragmatism? The answer for 500,000,000 points is Anthropic. And remember, if you're gonna consume AI slop, you better suck it through a soggy cardboard straw.

Wow. I think you just won 500,000,000

points. 500,000,000.

I have to give

it to six seven. So as it stands

This game rules.

With 500,000,017 points, our winners are six seven nights at Freddy's unless

Oh, wow.

You don't agree with a point system that offers such an exorbitant, unbelievable amount of points.

That's

the year we have for you. That is 2025, Mordid Postly. Congrats to our winners, and thank you to our guests, Jamie Loftus. Akila Hughes.

Yes. Tom Love.

Natalie Alexander. Ryan Brunner. And Adam Humes. We're gonna put links to all the places that everybody can find all of your work in the show notes. Thank you to Annie Ruwerda from Depths of Wikipedia, Kurt White of the podcast Unraveling, and Morgan Sung of the podcast Close All Tabs.

Happy New Year, everybody, and we'll see you in 2026.

Bye bye. Bye.