Never News: A Newsletter Of and For the Internet

[Lights up on a glamorous, moody library. Old, leather-bound books crowd the shelves. Somewhere in the corner, a gramophone plays an unidentifiable jazz tune. Outside it’s raining, but in this room all is warm, lamp-lit, and smelling of woodsmoke. A stag, a five-pointer, is mounted proudly over the mantle, which in turn is dotted with more books, a compass, a sextant, maybe a pinned butterfly in a frame  — the kind of stuff that a mysterious and eccentric woman of culture would have in her study.

Speaking of, who’s that sitting in the high-back leather armchair in front of the fireplace, smoking a pipe?]

Oh hey guys, what’s up? It’s me, Producer Georgia. Forgive the dramatics, but I couldn’t help myself. Welcome to the first-ever newsletter for Never Post, which we’ve aptly titled Never News. 

[MASSIVE THUNDER CRASH]

If you agreed to get emails from us, then you're automatically subscribed to this newsletter. If you'd rather not get Never News, you can easily unsubscribe at the bottom of this email — you'll still get other email notifications about extended segments and new episodes! I'd hate to see you go, but I get it. I'm not mad, I'm just...disappointed.

ANYWAY. If Never Post is your hometown newspaper for the Internet, then think of Never News as the “news in brief.” Every two weeks, I’ll compile a selection of weird, fun, or fascinating Internet-y news that the Never Post team has been talking about. Plus, I’ll keep you in-the-know about all the cool bonus content we’ve got for all you fabulous Every Post paid subscribers. So let’s get to it, shall we? 

Some small news bytes...

Last Friday was the debut of Charli XCX’s newest album BRAT, which led to a bunch of people listening to it in…unexpected ways. It turns out that auto insurance companies might have a way to monitor just how bad you are at parallel parking. Some cultural musings on Garfield as an Internet darling (or worrisome omen, depending on how you feel about those novelty phones that washed up on the beach). As Mike reported in our latest episode, some brave souls finally figured out where the backrooms are. And, finally, the Vatican might canonize its first ever “gamer saint.”

And now for the main courses...

SSENSE: The cultural foreshadowing that was “normcore”

I misunderstood the concept of “normcore” to be just another tongue-in-cheek fashion trend — the favorite of New Balance-clad dudes who thought it would be funny to identify with a style that was boring on purpose. I had no idea of the trend’s origins as a much more philosophical cultural critique. This piece in SSENSE interviews several of the members of K-HOLE, the collective that came up with the idea of “normcore” as a response to the hyper-niche, individualistic obsession of the indie world in the 2010’s. Not only is this a fascinating examination of that particular moment in culture, it’s also a lens through which we can look at the onslaught of TikTok fashion trends that currently populate the online world. 

HELP US MAKE INTERSTITIALS!!!!

In every episode, we take a few minutes between segments to offer you something fun and different, a little sonic moment to take a break or experience something new — we call these clips interstitials. But now, we want you to help us make some new ones! Current questions on the site include: What is your favorite hidden corner of the internet? And why do you love it? What was the best computer you ever owned? What was your first online username? What is the weirdest thing that has ever happened to you on the internet? Info for how to participate and  where to send audio to can be found here. 

COMING TO EVERY POST: The extended cut of Georgia’s conversation with Hilke Shellmann

For you lucky ducks who are paid subscribers, I’ve got a treat for you soon in the Every Post feed: an extended cut of my interview with Emmy Award-winning investigative journalist Hilke Shellman about the ways that AI tools are used (and sometimes abused) in hiring. There was so much interesting information that didn’t make the cut in the segment you heard from the main feed — including, among other things, a fascinating examination of AI as an unreliable tool for surfacing what characteristics actually make for a good job candidate. 

Mike's also got an extended cut of his convo with Jamie Loftus in the works, but he's not the one writing the newsletter so FOR NOW IT WILL REMAIN A MYSTERY! I am drunk with power!!!

THE CUT: Posting through the modern dating hellscape

I swore that after the dating apps segment from our May 22nd episode that I would stop reading constantly about the fraught nature of modern romance. AND YET! This piece from The Cut emerged from the ether, documenting a trend I have become fascinated with during my research: heterosexual women on TikTok talking about their genuine fear that love — real, lasting love — may simply never happen for them. The complaints aren’t new (the feeling that men never want to commit, that it’s impossible to find someone who is genuinely interested, the panic-inducing possibility of a life lived without a romantic partner). But these videos are able to reach an unprecedented number of women who feel the same way, and others still who offer granules of hope in a dating landscape that feels like Real Christian Hell. I remain, against my better interests, very invested in this topic.

AFTERMATH: Trying to free ourselves from the necessity of posting

There is no shortage of articles about the dangers of social media, but Katherine Cross’s piece for Aftermath does an especially good job at speaking to both the inherent treachery and inevitability of posting online. She questions how much any social platform can truly foster a community, and how, instead, we are often siloed into our individual user experiences at the cost of true connection. She also likens the social internet to a kind of roach motel, where it’s abundantly easy to enter any given platform, and all-but-impossible to leave. After all, if all your friends are on Twitter, and your job is, in some way, reliant on using Twitter, how can you really step away? 

Thus, we reach the end...

Alright, that’s it for me on this, the inaugural Never News newsletter. Judging by the Clue-esque setting I described to you up top, I probably have to go solve some kind of scandalous and scintillating murder that took place during one of my luxurious dinner parties. Was it Mike in the conservatory with the candlestick? That’s for me to know and for you to find out. 

If you’d like to send us articles, media, and anything else that might fit in the newsletter, shoot it over to theneverpost@gmail.com, or leave us a comment on our website, neverpo.st.  

Until next time, an aperitif for your digital palate…